It All Henges on One Thing

ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY! Scientists have discovered that Stonehenge was actually designed as an elaborate pump track! "It's amazing!" declared one of the researchers, announcing the historical breakthrough. "We now believe that they moved the giant stones with sophisticated electronic shifting." The ancient designers also carefully aligned the stones with celestial bodies so they would know it was time to upgrade their gear. The scientists say that the early cyclists used the pump track at Stonehenge for perhaps hundreds of years, "or until they got bored and built Machu Picchu instead."