Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Secrets of Cycling Revealed - Kneesocks!
In the interests of furthering the knowledge of the lost arts of our sport, here some of the ancient secrets of cycling are revealed! In this installment - the power of Kneesocks!
Secret Number One - they make you lighter!
Yes, of course. Kneesocks are smaller than their bulkier cousins, tights, leggings, knickers, etc. Since they are smaller, it stands to reason that they are unquestionably lighter. And as every cyclist knows, anything that makes you lighter, also makes you faster!
Secret Number Two - they ward off dogs!Man's best friend, swept up in the chase, prepares to sink its teeth in a tender calf only to be mesmerized, confused or distracted by the swirl of bright colors, and breaks off the attack. The spinning defense of kneesocks proves to be too powerful!
Secret Number Three - they let you dress-down motorists!Seriously now, motorists do not dress like this, and even if they did, they could never carry it off with this much style, no?
Secret Number Four - they attract the ladies!Yessir, you can be old and fat and bald and prone to face-plants, but a colorful pair of kneesocks will never fail to draw the attention of the fair sex! (It is certain that there are women out there who exhibit this tendency. They don't read this blog, of course, but that doesn't mean they're not out there. Somewhere.)